The Bill
by caxo76
Summary: It said Rangeman Securities, and it wasn't a paycheque...


A/N: Don't own shit.

Eff. What another lousy day. No rolling in garbage mind you, but soaked to the bone and covered in mud just about tops that. *sigh* I might actually have to admit that my mother is right. Maybe if I had just gone to church more often, God wouldn't be smiting me like this. I gingerly made my way over to the elevator, careful not to trail to much behind me, I was going to have enough hounding my ass over this latest incident, I didn't need Dillion's input too.

I checked my mail, (honestly, who cares if a few bills get covered in mud, if I can see the total, I can't pay it. Darn) and slopped my way into the waiting elevator.

Let's see, bill, bill, flyers, something from Mary Lou and something from Rangeman Securities.

Wait, what?

Please be a cheque, please be a cheque, please be a ---

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!!!!" I yelled to no one in particular, stellar me was talking to my front door again. "A effing bill?? For services rendered?" 23 destroyed vehicles, bodyguard services, protection services, home security services, injury, mental and physical leave?? My eyes scanned further down, the rest of the bills fluttering to the floor and my current drying mud state at the back of my mind, " HE SENT ME A BILL FOR 2.3 MILLION DOLLARS???"

Where does he think I am going to find that kind of money??? Shaking, I pulled my phone out, this has to be a mistake, or I am seriously going to hell in a hand-basket.

"Yo."

"Shove it Batman." I was seething.

"Babe."

"YOU SENT ME A BILL??"

"Babe." That sounded like an almost sigh.

"YOU SENT ME A BILL??"

"You said you wanted to be treated fairly, like all Rangeman employees."

" Do they all get sent bills for 2.3 million dollars? Ranger, I don't have 2.3 million, I might not even make that in a lifetime, Christ, I don't even know what it looks like! How am I going to pay this? How could you even think that I could begin to pay this? Just 100,000 easy payments? Oh my god, I can't breathe, I can't breathe." Breathe in Stephanie, and breathe out. I blindly sat down on the couch, holding my head. Fuck me. Just when you think you knew someone.

"Babe." Hot damn I had good reception in here. "Look up."

"Ugh." There was the Cuban Sex God himself rubbing my mud encrusted back and holding a glass of water. I greedily drank it.

"Thanks."

"You okay?"

"Fine, but I still want to kill you." He almost smiled at me. "2 million? Are you serious Ranger, please tell me this is some kind of joke? I can't handle any more of this."

"No."

"No, what, no joke?"

"Yes."

"Yes what? Yes that this isn't a joke, or yes that this is a joke?"

"The first one."

"Wait - what was the first one again?" I can't keep up.

"It's not joke Babe." My heart dropped. He really didn't care about me, either that or he took me too seriously when I said I wanted to be treated equally, or....just maybe he's sick and delusional and doesn't know what he's doing."

"Babe" Guess I said that out loud. Dumb me, of course he knows what he's doing. He's Batman, he's always got a plan----- hold on. That sneaky bastard. I was going to have to kill him!

"Ranger...."

"Hmmm?"

"This isn't one of your little deals is it?"

He smiled at me. "Maybe."

Ah, maybe meant yes in my world, which meant.....which meant....oh, crap. 2.3 million dollars is going to have me playing 'deal wise' for the rest if my life!! BREATHE IN BREATHE OUT BREATHE IN BREATH OUT.

"R -r-anger...." he eyebrowed me " does this mean I have to work at Rangeman for the rest of my life?"

"Maybe."

" RANGER. YOU CAN'T JUST SEND ME A BILL FOR TWO MILLION DOLLARS THEN GIVE ME A MAYBE AS AN ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING!!! Jeeze, I got to sell assets, get another job..."

"Babe." Okay, well, we both knew I had no assets and that I was a disaster enough at one job, let alone two.

"Ugh, my head hurts. You have two seconds to tell me why you sent me a bill before I kick you out. I'm tired, confused, sore, wet, dry and full of mud." This was so not my day.

" How else was I going to get you to marry me?"

"WHAT???????? You gave me a deal to have sex with you? And now you're giving me a deal to marry you? So I don't have to pay 2.3 million? Is that all I'm worth to you is 2.3 million??" Smooth Steph, Ranger asks you to marry him and all you can think about is money?

" Babe." followed by a sigh.

"Ahahahahahah" he raised his eyebrow at me. "I got Batman to sigh, oh I could get used to this."

"So is that a yes?"

"No."

"No?"

"It's a deal." And I stuck my hand out to shake on it. Mud at all.


End file.
